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bringing a bunch of stuff back to Berlin, managed to pack my instant pot (air fryer/pressure cooker), my electric guitar, trumpet, and my damn 3D printer lol
airport security are gomna be scratching their heads
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my guitar and trumpet on the sofa. the guitar is a black aria pro iii ea wildcat with a red strap
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my suitcase with the guitar body, jackets, and instant pot (which is full of stuff)
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duffel bag with a trumpet case and 3d printer parts on top
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my rucksack with the 3d printer mainboard in
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@cas dis is wat a twumpet wooks wike :3
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idk [SENSITIVE CONTENT]
@kadse toot toot motherfucker(?)
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pov holding the trumpet in my left hand, my arm takes up the left side of the image
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idk [SENSITIVE CONTENT]
@cas nice!! :33 i guess that's what i'm referencing :D https://youtu.be/Z8qoc_rfWCI?t=302
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@cas oooh, #leapmotion ! I haven't seen one in ages! Those are fun
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@elly yeah it's vintage :3 i got a great deal on it and i should really play it more
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@elly oh im sooo down
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@lucie They don't get synced retroactively. Your instance only knows about posts form users you're following since the moment you've started following them.
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@lucie My understanding is that you get a person's post history from the point your server first learns about them.
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sidney bristow flamethrowing some lab
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One of the many treats of #ADHD I hate the most: ADHDers have no internal motivation and rely completely on external motivation: urgency, novelty, pressure, competition and the need to belong. Except novelty they require negative emotions: anxiety and fear for urgency and pressure, competition and need to belong require shame. Hyperfocus is not for oneself but caused by seek for novelty.
To have ADHD is to battle negativ emotions all the time by doing stuff for _others_ and not for oneself. >>
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@lucie You have not trained yourself but did what gave yourself the best reactions in your brain. This is a coping mechanism.
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>> This is why many ADHDers have a comorbidity like depression, anxiety disorder, codependency or an addiction.
This is why many ADHDers are people pleasers.
Cleaning up because someone is coming to visit? Of course, let‘s do the deep clean in 3 hours!
For myself? There is no motivation. Of course I enjoy a cleaned up and somehow tidy living room. But this is not a motivator. >>
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>> The traits coming with #ADHD are not a super power but steady injection of fear, shame and anxiety.
I would trade all the stuff I know because of hyperfocus for not having the negative emotions all the time. I would trade them for being able to do things for myself and not because of external motivators. I would trad eurem for just having this thoughts stop.
Edit: I wrote a lenghty post aout this and other ADHD symptoms https://jascha.wtf/living-with-adhd-between-stereotypes-and-neurobiological-reality/
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@jascha damn I knew the connection with external pressure but not the link to negative emotions. Well that explains a lot :/
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@shorterirl For example the fear to get blamed is a harder motivator than the joy of getting praise. An ADHD person needs a higher level of serotonin/dopamin to feel happy than a neurotypical person. But we gain the same ammount of these transmitters as nt folks when we get praise. It is not enough.
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@jascha @shorterirl at this point praise may not even exist. All I can think to do with any form of praise is dismiss it
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Thank you for this thread.
I’m autistic, but don’t have ADHD. However, the few people in my life that are really important and precious to me all have. I love how fast their minds work, how creative their ideas are, and how enthusiastic they can be at times. All things I can relate to and enjoy a lot.
But the phenomenon you describe has always been puzzling me. So this thread has been most helpful in understanding some of the difficulties! Thank you. Following 🙂
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@nellie_m follow at you own risk - I mostly post about other stuff :D
But feel free to ask me questions about ADHD, happy to help
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Thanks, yes, I’m still pondering this. So you think it’s physiological? The diminished response to reinforcement and being “motivated” by fear of rejection etc. ? Because amounts of neurotransmitters being equal, it would suggest that either receptors are fewer or not all functioning properly. What do ADHD meds do to address this?
Or could that also be an ADHD flavoured response to cPTSD (that is so common among neurodivergent people, especially late identified ones)? In which case meds could help manage it while working on the PTSD.
Do you have any data on this, studies, articles? I’m very interested in this!
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@nellie_m there is a problem with the receptors. This causes a very bad working frontal lobe. This causes e.g. valuing criticism of your behavior wrong and it feels like the person wished you never existied. Experience those things all the time leads to trauma… and you can or heal the trauma without treating ADHD
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oh wow. That sounds really difficult 💛 Could you please point me to some resources where I can read up on this? I so want to understand my friends better because some situations feel like such a mystery to me 😢 and I love them so much !
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@nellie_m I wrote a post on my blog and linked many sources as a start :) https://jascha.wtf/living-with-adhd-between-stereotypes-and-neurobiological-reality/
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@jascha Da bin ich bei dir. Aber da hab ich keine Angst. Sondern weiß, dass ich mich selbst sehr freue und nutze den Besuch als zusätzliche Motivation zu meiner eigenen Freude (die, wie du richtig schreibst, oft nicht ganz ausreicht).
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@jascha fuck. That's a point of view I haven't had before. It makes total sense.
Thanks. Another piece of my life's puzzle.
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@jascha Hm, that's not true for me.
Maybe I don't have ADHD, although I am diagnosed with it.
I have intrinsive motivation to go cycling. I love cycling and repairing bicycles. Nobody has to say that I should go cycling.
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@das_menschy there is not enough space in a post to break down what you just said - it does not contradict what I stated.
@jascha Hm, ich mag nicht, dass du das als allgemeingültige Tatsache formulierst. MmADHS sind unterschiedlich. ADHS hat ein Spektrum von Aspekten, die unterschiedl. ausgeprägt sind. Lebenserfahrung führt bei mir dazu, dass ich Sachen erledige, weil ich weiß, dass ich mich gut fühle, wenn ich sie getan habe. Mir hilft es, das laut auszusprechen: So, jetzt habe ich xy gemacht, es war nicht schlimm und ich ich fühle mich jetzt gut (offenbar führt das Hören zu schnellerer Veränderung im Hirn).
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@exil_inselette was ich lese: „Ich mag nicht dass du meine Realität nicht abbildest weil ich noch nie von Normalverteilung gehört habe und ich für mich Mechanismen haben, die funktionieren und das muss ich jetzt kritisieren denn wo kommen wir denn hin wenn die Ränder der Normalverteilung keine Beachtung finden.“
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@exil_inselette und: das ist keine interne Motivation, sondern externe, indem du es dir aussprichst und durch Hören verarbeitest. Ja, Hören ist für solche Sachen viel besser als „denken“.
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